The Quintessential Comma

Like salt on your food, the common comma is noticed only for its absence or over-abundance in writing.  Yet article after article and book after book elevate this little dot with a squiggly tail to center stage.  People fight over how it’s used, when and where to pop one into a sentence, and whether or not there are specific rules to follow when using one.

A quick Google search revealed over 400 million articles on “comma.” I have a minimum of six books where this lowly punctuation mark is highlighted and fretted over. Now, if I could only memorize the content of those books, I wouldn’t be here wishing I knew for a certainty that I put that mark in just the right places at the right times.

One of my favorite books that includes discussions of the lowly comma is Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. Reading the joke on the back cover is enough to draw you into her book, but she even goes so far as to give you a punctuation repair kit with 24 commas in it. Wow!

There are lots of ways to properly use a comma. In fact, there are too many ways to go over in one blog post.  But let’s take a look at one today:

THE OXFORD, or HARVARD, or SERIAL COMMAOxford comma, Oxford, and Harvard

When I was growing up and writing my stories in Miss Halsey’s second grade class (and yes, back then it was still “Miss” and not “Ms.”), my classmates and I were taught that when you write a bunch of items in a row, they should be separated with commas.

“But not before the AND,” said Miss Halsey.  “The AND takes the place of the comma.”  When you’re seven or eight, life is all about soaking information in, not questioning it.  So I have almost always written “she wore a red, white and blue outfit to the Independence Day parade.”

Then along came the editors and printers at Oxford University Press.  They made the style decision to put a comma in the list even when the conjunctions were there.  They claimed it was for clarity when items were not single words, but I think it was because there was some guy named Cornelius Crumbakker who lived alone, and dreamed of wild nights in the Fuji Islands, and who said he loved nothing more than the dazzling beauty of a comma.  The comma reminded him of his mother’s eyes on those rare occasions when she smiled and showed her delight in Cornelius’s brilliance as a typesetter.

Okay, so I just got carried away.  Oxford University Press has a point: “She wore a red and white scarf, a blue and yellow skirt, and green and gold shirt to the “come as you are” party.

Apparently, the folks in the northeast of the U.S.A. couldn’t really acknowledge the people across the pond having any sort of grammatical superiority, so they refer to this same style of comma use as “the Harvard comma.”  It is the same little comma, packaged for U.S. marketplaces.  Personally, I’m wondering when we’ll start seeing the same thing called “the University of Michigan comma” or perhaps “the Fighting Irish comma.”  Hopefully, we’ll never see a “Trojan comma,” for who could trust such an item?  It may be fooling us into a false sense of security, only to come out at night and multiply commas all over our works.  Disaster could happen then!

Now, for those of us not really into University-named punctuation marks, “the serial comma” might do.  Unfortunately, when I see the word “serial” I’m expecting murder to follow, and that just brings too many silly images to mind.

LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE

Although either the use or non-use of a serial comma is correct, publishers of fiction are in flux over whether or not to use it.  Be sure to check with your publisher for style guidance.  I think, however, the only really terrible mistake is to be inconsistent.  Choose to go with or go without this serial comma, then use that style in every instance.

Me? I’m going with the Oxford comma, because it is fun to say, easy to use, and Miss Halsey is no longer reading my papers.

Where and how do you use the comma?  Any favorite comma stories to share?

A dragon writing down punctuation marks

Heh, heh, heh!

Have a good, happy, safe, comma-riddled, and grammar monster kind of day.

New Category: The Great Grammar Monster

Once upon a time, there was an aspiring author.  She knew words were important, and that writing them down for others to read was where her eternal life spirit was leading her.  Unfortunately, this would-be knight of the written page had a few debilitating shortfalls.

A dragon writing down punctuation marks

The Great Grammar Monster will put punctuation marks just where you least expect or want them!

First, her sword, Spelling, had nicks and dings all along its edges.  Two, to, too? Who cared? Sword corrected this apathy by stabbing her in the side each time someone misspelled her name.  Liesa, Lisa, Liza.  Who cared?  She did!

Then those servants, Books, tended to be used to press flowers and other important chores, so who had time to actually read them?  This, of course, led to several missteps in the land of Vocabulary.  She got caught in the swamp of Pacifically, when she Specifically wanted to go to the castle for a nice warm dish of “stuff.”

At last, our heroine was faced with the deadly Grammar Monster (at the time appropriately misspelled “Grammer Monster” for the children’s book the aspiring author was composing).

Liesa knew that the key to letting her out of the dungeon of unpublished and unpublishable works was to learn her craft, build her arsenal of skills and stick to it through wind and storm, uphill battles and downward spirals, kids, spouse, work and life.

So she put her childhood dreams away and began working on plans to improve those skills.  Thank goodness the personal computer with word processing came into being!  Suddenly, misspellings were (if none too gently) pointed out with bright red underlines.  Books like Jaws, Gone With The Wind and Harry Potter grabbed and held her attention so that the words within flew past her hungry eyes.

Eventually, as children left and jobs dwindled, our knight of the written word found herself with the time to return to her dream.  Words flowed more easily, and stories emerged that the other knights of the round table known as “Critique Group” found promising.

But grammar and punctuation still lurk in the shadows of our heroine’s world.  Where exactly does one put that silly little worm, the comma?  How does one avoid passive voice in writing a story?  What sort of copy “sells”?

I hope to add some stories of my fascinating journeys into conscious grammar and punctuation in the upcoming months and hope you’ll be there with me. We have all sorts of keys on the keyboard that are seldom used, and probably for good reason, but be ready to explore.  We have punctuation marks that are over used and under applied appropriately. We have phrases, clauses and other bits of writing that call out for our editing attention.

Will you come on this journey with me?  Perhaps you too are on a quest for better writing.  Published authors and hobbyists alike need to slay their own version of the Great Grammar Monster as we travel the road to writing success.

Please let me know what you think.  What are your favorite grammar rules? Which do you like to break?  What are your pet peeves?  Let’s start a lively conversation and see if we can build a kingdom of well-written verbiage. But watch out — The Great Grammar Monster is out to get you!