Don’t get me wrong.  I do love my cat, Nalla.  She is as plump as the character, Georgette Heyer, in my Daisy books and is full of personality too.  It’s just the little embarrassing thing that happens to a lot of us as we “mature”–incontinence.

Her royal highness in her morning shower

Oh my goodness! I never knew that senior cats would have issues. I thought you show them the litter box, keep it relatively clean and presto! Happy cat, happy home.

Au contraire my friends. Although Nalla seems happy enough, with her shower in the kitchen sink each morning, her three meals a day (plus tooth-cleaning green snacks at night), and her game of “shred the mouse” on the string before bed, apparently all is not well with her queendom, our house.

It all started with the new, expensive, specially ordered living room furniture.  That was probably three years ago.  For some reason, Nalla decided that the new couches and chairs offended her sense of decor.  I guess she missed her lovely old, smell-like-the-kids- puked-on-it and dog-chewed old couch.  She peed on each and every new (and did I mention expensive) piece. Eew, eew and double eew.

I was quickly introduced to the world of Nature’s Miracle.  I don’t know how well that stuff works, but my daughter, who has her own cat now, swears by it. Spritz. Spritz.

Luckily, the furniture had a guarantee that sent a professional cleaner out to our house.  He  came. He saw. He spritzed. He left and the cat peed again.  She’s been wreaking havoc in my living room ever since.

Yes, I have taken her to the vet. No, there is nothing wrong with kidneys or urinary tract stuff. Yes, she has a calm atmosphere and I don’t yell (too much) when she has her “accidents.” And no, I have no idea how to teach a cat to practice kegel exercises.

Meanwhile, my sweet husband has come up with a strategy for dealing with this.  He pushes all the cushions up on the furniture so the cat cannot climb up.  Let’s just say Good Housekeeping Magazine won’t be taking pictures in my living room any time soon. Grrr!  Plus, the cat moved her pee-ing habit from the furniture to the relatively new wood floor.

“No worries, Mom. I got this one.”

Did I tell you, we replaced the carpeting because we got a dog?  A dog that sheds.  A cat with medium length fur who also sheds. Wood and expensive floor that has dog hair, cat fur and now cat pee on it.

I tried the cat-offensive citrus spray.  That worked–for about three weeks. I guess she got used to the smell and me saying “tssst” each time she tried to get up on the furniture.  Then she figured out that I go to the basement for alone time each morning.  One morning I heard the soft scritch scratch above my head and ran up to the living room. Presto! No cat to be seen, but there was other evidence of her visit.

The dog doesn’t mind.  He just eats up the goodies left behind.

Did I say I love my pets?  After all, they have faces (and bottoms) that only a pet owner could love.

Sorry, gotta run.  I hear the cat meowing.